Tag Archives: x-men

Marvel Comics’ Summer of Bull$#!+: My thoughts on the 2015 reveals

Marvel BS 2015

By Nick Saunders
11/1/14

With all of the recent announcements from Marvel relating to their upcoming Summer 2015 events, I figured it was a good time to weigh in on the subject. Speaking of weight, I am pushing a svelte 327 pounds at the moment, and I think a cool 25% of that is the gorgeous cinnamon beard I’ve been cultivating as of late.

For better or worse, I really don’t feel like doing a whole ton of research to back up anything I opine herein. So if any of my three readers want to pepper my comments feed with fact-checking that contradicts me, be my guest.

I feel less like taking a title-by-title crack at these revealed series, and more like stating my intense distaste at what appears to be a double whammy of laziness and fanwanking by the editorial staff at Marvel. By the previews shown, they are planning on events such as Secret Wars, Armor Wars, Civil War, Planet Hulk, House of M, Age of Apocalypse, Old Man Logan, and Infinity Gauntlet just to name a handful. If the list that I just spouted off to you sounds like a verbatim bibliography of some of the biggest Marvel crossover events of the last 30 years, don’t fret because it’s not the mescaline talking. Apparently they are somehow planning to create either continuances or re-imaginations of all these previous crossovers, and publish all of them during the summer of 2015.

It is at this juncture where I almost feel like calling bullsh*t on the whole thing- this must be Marvel dicking around in a sadistic fashion with the perverse desire to see fanboys’ heads explode like a tranny Schwarzenegger in Total Recall. Once they’ve gotten the geek community all hot and frothy with nerd rage, they will come back and and let us know that the whole world just got Punk’d. Hell, they might even get Kristen Bell to stop shaving Dax Shepard’s ass long enough just so he can come break the news to us all.

However, the cynic in me (like the last paragraph wasn’t cynical enough) thinks the people at Marvel have something even more insidious planned. I suspect that they are going to publish all these titles, hoping that nostalgic suckers like myself will buy them to re-live the awesomeness that the regurgitated titles harken back to. I fear that this is a 100% real publishing campaign, and as such is the worst case of fan-baiting shysterism this side of The Death of (insert iconic comic book character set to be resurrected in the very near future here).

You know what they one thing they didn’t take into account is though? That nerds like myself either own, or have a close personal homeboy who owns, the trades of these original titles they are siphoning from. So if I really want to nostalgically relive these epic stories, I will read them as originally published.

So droppeth the FigureBOMB.

(Nick Saunders is not a raging fanboy; he only plays one on T.V. He fully acknowledges that he may be entirely wrong about this, and come next summer will be eating a buttload of crow)

Meet Deadpool: Earth’s Funniest Superhero

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By Nick Saunders
7/27/13

You are quite possibly asking yourself, “Who is Deadpool, and why the hell do I care?” Since you clicked this stinky linky of mine, I will assume your curiosity is piqued enough to stick around and find out.

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Deadpool is a Marvel superhero/antihero created by Rob Liefeld and Fabian Nicieza as an X-Universe antagonist back in 1991. He is quite literally, along with Cable, the only valuable contribution Rob Liefeld has ever made to the world of comics.

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And if the name Deadpool does ring a bell for you, it might be due to his horrendously botched appearance in X-Men Origins: Wolverine (see my previous rant here). Thank you very little, Gavin Hood. Way to turn a perfect casting choice into an upper decker.

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A product of the same Weapon X program that gave Wolverine his adamantium skeleton, he possesses a similar healing factor, elevated strength, fighting expertise, and enthusiasm for disembowelment. Oh yeah, and he looks like a burnt up weiner as a result of these enhancements, and is crazier than Amanda Bynes holding a bottle of Tanqueray and some hair clippers.

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I first encountered the character when I was collecting X-Men figures in the early 90’s. I saw the first Deadpool toy and thought, since when did Spiderman become a ninja? Either way I bought it.

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Then, when he got his own ongoing title in 1997, I started reading it and was instantly hooked. I couldn’t tell what I liked more, Ed McGuinness’s pencils or Joe Kelly’s writing. Since then, he has become a cult favorite among comic fans, and has been featured in titles like Cable & Deadpool, Deadpool Corps, Deadpool: Merc With a Mouth, and now the ongoing Marvel NOW title.

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However let’s get back to the point of this post, which is to convey that he is utterly bad-ass. But not in the same vein as, say, the Punisher. He is not your typical brooding, humorless, tormented killing machine. He makes killing supervillians funny. Laugh out loud, cracking up, oops I crapped my pants funny. His head gets blown off repeatedly and he still pops off one-liners. In a more recent issue, he killed a demonically resurrected JFK dressed as Marilyn Monroe and punched Nixon in his zombie balls. He quotes Wu-Tang and references Ice-T. He takes sarcasm and wisecracking to a level Spiderman can’t even touch. Here are a few choice examples of the “Merc With a Mouth” in action:

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Here he is demonstrating a proper Dragon Punch to Kitty Pryde’s face:

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And here accompanying an undead Teddy Roosevelt on a hunting expedition:

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Hopefully this gives you an idea of the kind of character we are dealing with here. If you have never read a Deadpool comic, go pick one up- you won’t be disappointed. So speaketh figureBOMB.

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Enter The Wolverine: Will this gaijin warrior have any honor?

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By Nick Saunders
7/9/13

I need to start off by saying that I freaking love Wolverine. How much you ask? Let’s just say I successfully lobbied to name my first-born son Logan. Growing up in the late 80’s and early 90’s when the X-Men exponentially increased in popularity (or blew the hell up in layman’s terms), he was a household name to my brother and I.

He’s The Fonz of the X-Universe; the epitome of cool. In the span of one issue, he could down a case of beer, make out with Jean Grey behind Cyclops’ back, kill a dozen ninjas, and make it home in time to read Jubilee a bedtime story- all the while puffing on the fattest stogie. Β Also, he made having excessive body hair socially tolerable, something which I would come to appreciate later in life.

On July 26, The Wolverine will be released in theaters as a sequel to 2009’s X-Men Origins: Wolverine. There is a fair amount of skepticism within the fan community as to whether this movie will be a) good b) true to the comic or c) complete bastardized garbage the likes of, well, X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

Personally, I enjoyed the first installment, but the current 38% rating on Rotten Tomatoes clearly places me in the minority. All you have to do to enjoy it is completely ignore the parts where they made Deadpool a mute automaton with pseudo-Wolverine claws, Maverick an Agent Smith wannabe, Patrick Stewart a mannequin, and Sabretooth a brunette. Okay, so basically if you watch anything besides the intro sequence and the adamantium infusion procedure it was pretty heinous.

This new film has promise though. An Oscar-winning director is at the helm with James Mangold (Cop Land, Girl, Interrupted, Walk the Line), which lends some cinematic credibility to the project.

The choice of focusing the story on Wolverine’s time in Japan, as presented originally in the 1982 Chris Claremont/Frank Miller Wolverine miniseries, is also compelling. Based on the trailers released thus far, at minimum we will see Wolverine battle Hand ninja and the Silver Samurai. It also appears based on casting information his conflict with the Yashida Clan and romance with Mariko Yashida will be included as well. What I would really like to see is the director tell the story of Wolverine’s training with his bushido master, Ogun. In the comics, I have always found Wolverine’s embedded samurai code of ethics to be a fascinating facet of his character.

The problem for me is that the X-Men films have been so hit-or-miss. I don’t know that I can categorize any of them as great films, partially due to my fanboy-fueled frustration with any gross straying from source material (see tantrum-inducing Deadpool example from above as example). I plan to see this movie the week it is released, and genuinely want it to be good. However, I can’t get the nagging thought out of the back of my head that keeps groaning, “God I hope they don’t fudge this one up too.”

In short, this Fonz best not jump the shark.

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